Appendix:English toilet slang

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Toilet slang headwords in Thesaurus
bathroom toilet vomit	urination defecation flatulence

This list of toilet slang represents a form of toilet humour, often as a result of attempts to replace taboo words related to certain bodily functions and parts by euphemisms and witticisms. (slang)

Urination

Aim Archie at the Armitage
Answer the call of nature (or nature's call)
Beating the piss out of the little guy
Blasting the beast
Bleeding the lizard
Breaking the seal (specifically the first visit during a drinking session)
Change water on the goldfish
Coffee dump
Cooling a tire (American truck driver slang)
Do a wee
Draining the Anaconda
Draining the dragon
Draining the lizard
Draining the main vein
Draining the radiator
Draining the sleepy weasel
Draining the one-eyed monster
Draining my rpg
Draining down the system
Dropping my mate off in a layby
Empty my tank
Eye balls were floating
Flush my buffers
Freshen my Snapple
Go pee pee
Going for a you & me
Going to the office
Going to water my horse
Hosing the porcelain
Humping the cat loin
Jimmy Riddle
Leak the lizard
Let er' fly
Lift leg (used commonly among members of the furry fandom, derived from how male canines urinate)
Losing my suitcase on the baggage carousel
Lower the water level
Make one's bladder gladder
Number one
Parking my breakfast
Pass water
Paying the water bill
Pee
Pwenk (very rare)
Pee Pee
Piddle (considered a coarse expression in some quarters)
Piss
Pit stop
Point Percy at the Porcelain
Point the Pink Pistol at the Porcelain Firing Range
Powder one's nose
Punish the porcelain
Putting out the fire
Raining on the bowl
Release the pressure
Refresh the body
Relieve yourself
Rock a piss
Rock one
Running the Sidney Lanier Bridge
See a man about a horse
Shaking hands with the president
Shaking hands with the vicar
Shaking hands with the wife's best friend
Shaking the dew off the lily
Soaking yourself
Splashing the pirate
Spend a penny
Sprinkle
Sprinkle my tinkle
Squeeze the lemon
Squirt
Squirt(ing) the dirt (American truck driver slang)
Steering Stanley to the stainless steel
Syphon the python
Taking a Chinese singing lesson
Taking a leak
Taking a pee
Taking a piss (considered a coarse expression in some quarters)
Taking a slash
Taking a squirt
Taking a whiz
Taking a wicked "Yes" (Family Guy; Peter Griffin in French class after hearing the words, Oui Oui)
Tapping a kidney
Tinkle
Training Thomas on the terracotta
Troggle
Turning the bike round
Twinkle
Visit Uncle Charley
Visit the urination station
Void my bladder
Walk my snake
Wash my mongoose
Water my weasel
Watering the flowers (outdoor)
Wringing out a kidney
Write my name in the water
Write my name in the snow

Defecation

A sewer snake to release
Anaconda action
Arsefire
Back one out
Backing the big brown motorhome out of the garage
Baiting the trap
Bend one off
Big jobs
Becoming the porcelain assassin
Blasting a dookie
Blinking
Blowing up the (toilet or bathroom)
Blow one out - Also flatulence
Blowout (reference to an oil well blowout)
Blow out an O-Ring (reference to Austin Powers)
Blow the load
BM
Boo-Boo
Boom Boom
Bomb the porcelain sea
Build a beaver dam
Building a log cabin
Burn a mule
Caca
Call of Doodey
Carpet Bombing Afghanistan
Chocolate time!
Choke a Darkie (racially offensive)
Chop down a couple trees (to make logs)
Climbing Mud Mountain (or visiting)
Create a custom extrusion
Crimp one off
Cripping a crapple
Crowning
Curling one off
Cut a caterpillar cake (UK)
Cutting a Monkey Tail
Cutting rope
Deceiver of Farts
De-corking the borking
Deucing
Dirty squirties
Dispatching a train
Doing brown
Doing some spring cleaning
Dominating
Doo-Doo (making/doing/having/taking a...)
Doodey (making/doing/having/taking a...)
Dooey (making/doing/having/taking a...)
Download a brownload
Dr. Benjamin Fartlin
Drop a double deuce
Drop a baby’s arm
Drop a Brookman (Aus)
Dropping a dook
Dropping a bomb
Dropping a deuce
Dropping a hoopsnake
Dropping a jolst
Dropping a load
Dropping a loaf
Dropping an otter (dropping a Leith Otter)
Dropping a Purtle
Dropping a Washburn
Dropping a sewer pickle
Dropping The Dangle
Dropping anchor
Dropping bass ("base" as in the opposite of treble. Not the fish.)
Dropping logs
Dropping some friends off at the pool
Dropping the Browns off at the Super Bowl
Dropping the kids off at the pool
Dropping the Mexican Boll Weevil
Dropping the weights
Dropping wax
Dump my truck
Empty one's spaghetti house (from Tim & Eric's 'Dr. Steve Brule' segments)
Faxing a shit to the toilet machine
Feeding the seagulls (politer version of "Feeding the shitehawks")
Feeding the toilet
Feel a tooth coming
Fertilising the plants (refers to defecating outdoors and on the ground, such as while camping)
Filing some papers
Filling the bowl
Fire away
Firing a Rocket
Freeing me chocolate hostages
Giving birth
Giving birth to a family of otters
Giving birth to the black eel
Giving birth to the Spineless Brownfish
Giving King Kong his fingers back
Going Boom Boom
Going poop
Going for an Eartha (rhyming slang : Eartha Kitt)
Going for a Tom Tit (rhyming slang)
Going to meet Jim Davidson
Going to number two
Going to have a talk with Mr.Hanky (South Park [1] Reference)
Going to have a meeting with the Governor
Going to the Library (refers to reading while there)
Going to the restitorial
Growing a tail
Hanging a rat
Harry Plopper
Hatching the brown trout
Hungry Hungry Hippos
Inserting a SEAL Team
Kurt Bevacqua
Laj a Brookman
Launching torpedoes
Lay down some brown
Laying dumplings
Laying a brick
Laying a brownie
Laying a cable
Laying a Hank
Laying a turd
Laying some wolf bait
Lengthening the spine
Letting loose
Letting the toilet know who's boss
Letting the dogs out
"Liam Neeson!" (exclamation)
Lift tail (used commonly among members of the furry fandom)
Logging
Logging into the toilet and making a huge download
Logging out
Load your pants
Loafin'
Lose some weight (Also used in urination)
Making a banoogie (referring to an unusually large defecation, often clogging the toilet)
Making a tail
Making an appointment with Dr. John
Making gravy
Making logs (or a log)
Making waves
Makin' bears
Monopoly
Montezuma's Revenge (traveller’s diarrhoea)
Number two
Pebble-dashing the porcelain
Pinching (off) a loaf
Pinching (off) some soft serve
Pinching a yam
Pinch-hitting for Kurt Bevacqua (a reference to the old brown uniforms worn in the 1970's and 1980's by the San Diego Padres.)
Playing shit Jenga
Poo-Poo
Poopy Doo
Poppin a gooky
Prairie doggin
Producing some output
Pump a clump of dump out of my rump
Pull a few cones (Think Mr Whippy soft serve ice cream, and the cones)
Punching a growler
Punishing the porcelain
Punishing the toilet
Put food in the dog's water
Put logs on the fire (from The Last Man on Earth)
Releasing a depth charge
Releasing a Dungbomb
Releasing Meatloaf's Daughter
Releasing the chocolate hostages
Releasing the hostages
Releasing the Kraken
Releasing the hounds
Reset unload two
Restocking the pond with brown trout
Ride a pony and trap
Riding the Centaur
Ring of fire
Sacrificing to the Toilet/Porcelain god
Saturday morning special
Scatter bombing
SE (Sit and Emit)
Sending a Fax
Shed some ballast
Shitting bricks (Houses or apartments as substitutes for higher quantity.)
Showering the room with roses
Shtounga
Slopping gruel in Oliver's bowl
Spray-painting the porcelain
Squeezing the Malteser
Squirt juice
Stalling a brown sedan
Streaming Nixie (naval expression referring to an anti-submarine device towed behind a ship by a long, thick, possibly brown cable)
Studying one's Process Design notes (refers to Environmental Engineering Process Design, a course taught to civil and environmental engineering undergraduates and that deals with, among other topics, the design of wastewater treatment facilities)
Taking a brew
Taking a crap
Taking a Critical Ambient to the Lab
Taking a dump
Taking a Lehigh
Taking a Nixon (used by Kinky Friedman in his detective novels)
Taking a poo
Taking a Shatner (as in Captain Kirk; would also accept "dropping" or "doing" a Shatner)
Taking a shit (a coarse expression, not a euphemism)
Taking a slam
Taking a Tarzan (crapping in the woods/forest)
Taking Mrs Gloop up to the Fudge Room
Taking the Browns to the Superbowl
Taking the mains offline and ejecting the warp coil
Taking the morning curl
Throwing up backwards
Tuesday Afternoons
Turtle time (see Turtle Action)
Uh-Oh! (Family Guy reference; Peter Griffin is incontinent at awkward moments)
Uncork some port
Unlikely Traveler (Defecation, usually on vacation, when you defecate in your pants away from a toilet)
Unload
Unloading a batch of cigars
Welcome to Fudge Mountain
Working the Turd Saw
Wrestling a leprecaun

Flatulence

All-natural fumigation
Anal thunder
A quick piece from the anus orchestra (in F Minor)
Air poo
Airbourne toxic event
Arsehole Symphony
Arse-music
Arse-whistling
Anal music
Backblast Area All Clear
Bake brownies (from South Park)
Barking spider
Backfire
Beef
Beef-cloud
Beef Stew
Biological Backfire
Biological Warfare
Blast off
Blow a big one
Blow off
Blow one out - Also defecation
Blowing out the colon
Booty burp
Bottom burp
Brap
Break wind
Breath of God
Brown Clould
Browning your shorts
Buckshot
Bum notes
Bum reports
Bunker blast
Bunny (As in "OOPS I let a Bunny.")
Bust arse
Butt Thunder
Chemical warfare
Choke a donkey
Churning urn of burning funk
Corporal Fart Sounds the Trumpets for the arrival of General Kaka
Crop Dusting (while masturbating)
Curry night
Cut the cheese
Diffusion
Dropping arse
Drop a bomb
Drop one's guts
Dropping wolf bait
Erupting the anal volcano
Evacuating the second floor
Explosion between the legs
Explosion in my pants
Fanny Burp (From "The Simpsons")
Farting
Feem
Fire in the hole
Firing the auxilury rockets
Floating an air biscuit
Freshing up the air
Flatulating
Gas leakage
Gaseous Anal Discharge (GAD)
Green Cloud
Give birth to a brown baby ghost
Give up the funk
Grunt
Guff/guff an eggy
Honking the butt horn
Honking for clearance
Killing the barking spiders
Launching a growler
Launch one off
Let fluffy off the chain
Let off a howler
Let off a stinker
Letting the Wookie win
Let one go
Let one off
Let one rip
Let Polly out of prison
Let slip the dog of war
Let the peach speak
Lift off
Light a bum cigar
Like A Knife
Listening to Jim Davidson (or any ill-regarded musician)
Meef
Message from below
Missouri mud ducks
Mouse on a motorcycle
Number four (note, numbers 3 and up are often switched, only numbers one and two are generally accepted as standard)
Odor Opera
Open one's lunch box
Osmosis of the arse
Parp
Pass gas
Pass wind
Poo dust
Pumping
Rip arse
Rip one
Root de toot
Shit Symphony
Silent, but deadly (SBD)
Silent, but violent (SBV)
Smell what I had for dinner
"Speak to me, oh toothless one!"
Step on a duck
Step on a frog
Taffing
The lonely cry of an imprisoned poop
Toot
Tootle
Trouser cough
Trouser trumpet
Trumping
Undercloud
Underpants lion
Vulcan butt breathing
War cry
Was that a mouse on a Harley?
Watch out for those barking spiders
Whicked Whistlin'
Woofie
Xenu Speaks

Vomiting

Alan's psychedelic breakfast
Baking a pavement pizza
Barfing
Be the mother bird
Bite the Chobie
Blowing beets/bile/breakfast/chunks/donuts
Blue chip special
Blow chunks
Booting
Bow down before the porcelain god (On some occasions, the worshipper vows to the god never to drink again.)
Bradding
Bronx's Nightmare
Bring it up for a vote
Calling dinosaurs (Used for particularly loud bouts of emesis.)
Calling Huey (or Ralph) on the commode-a-phone
Catch it on the rebound
Cheektowaga scream
Cheese
Chow
Chuck up
Chuck Wagon Chowder
Chunder
Cook up a pavement pizza
Cry Ruth
Date Porcelain Patty
Do the Bush Thing (used in Japan, after President Bush, Sr. threw up on a Japanese prime minister)
Driving the Buick to Europe
Driving the porcelain (school) bus
Eat backwards
Feed the fish (when seasick)
Feed your young (like a mother bird regurgitates food for her chicks)
Food Escape!
Going "bologna"
Have an out-of-stomach experience
Hiccup from Hell
Hock a furball
Horking
Hug the porcelain wishing well
Hurling
Hwarfing
Inverse Gut
Jackson Pollock
Jump shot
Kiss the can
Kneel before the porcelain throne
Lap lung butter
Launch lunch
Liquid laugh
Lose your lunch
Leaving lunch on the sidewalk
Make an offering to the porcelain gods
Make a crustless pizza
Make a hideous jiffy bag
Make like Mount St. Helens
McDonald's "Special"
Munt
New England Clam Chowder
Number three (note, numbers 3 and up are often switched, only numbers one and two are generally accepted as standard)
Offer a sacrifice at the porcelain altar
Paint the sidewalk
Painting gastric graffiti
Park the tiger
Pay homage to the Irishman Huey O'Rourke
Pop a gastric zit
Pray/worship at the porcelain altar/temple
Pray to the porcelain god/goddess/princess
Protein Spill
Puking
Pulling the trigger (intentionally vomiting)
Quease
Ralphing
Regurgitate
Reverse-drink (from the Thunder Mug)
Revisit dinner
Ride the Regurgitron
Rope på elgen (Norwegian for "call the moose")
Round trip meal ticket
Scream at the ants
Shout at your shoes
Sing psychedelic praises to the depths of the china bowl
Snarf
Snow bank pizza
Soittaa posliinipuhelimella Norjaan (Finnish for "make a phone call to Norway with a telephone made of porcelain")
Soul coughing
Spewing
Splatterhouse
Spraying McDonalds
Talking on the porcelain telephone
Talking to the weeds
Talking to God on the big white telephone
Technicolour yawn/yodel
Throwing up
Thunder-chunder rainbow parfait
Toilet bowl toss
Tossing your cookies
Tossing your lunch
Turn your guts inside-out
Un-eat
Upchuck
Vector-spew
Vomiting
Warhol wail
Waste good beer
Whistling beef
Yakking
Yarfing
Yawn for the hearing impaired
Yodelling to the porcelain megaphone
Yorxing

Eructation

Backward fart
Belching
Blowing my nose
Burping
Ructus
Seltch (Sneezing and belching due to overpressures.)
The call of the wildebeest

Combinations

Another section of toilet humour involves combination bodily functions, which are generally the unexpected result of some forcing mechanism. While these events certainly don't have the lexicographical diversity of their single-function counterparts, they are generally considered humorous in discussion and especially in occurrence.

Acid Beak - (see Turtle Action)
Anal Leakage- Leaking anus. Generally unexpected, Action of incontinence, also 'sharting' in one's pants or underwear.
Chain-Sharting - Sharting as the result of overpressures created by laughing at someone who has just sharted.
Crop Dusting - Flatulation while walking quickly {'the man crop dusted his office hoping no one would pin the bad smell on him'}
Doing the Triple - When all the pressures in your body build up at the same time (usually during drink fuelled sex) resulting in simultaneous: defecating, vomiting and ejaculating
Escapee - A fart that escapes while urinating and/or defecating and/or eructating and/or vomiting and/or sneezing (Snarting).
Hot Wheels - (Toy car brand name, T.V ad shows flaming tracks),track/skid marks remaining on the floor of the porcelain bowl after the first, and/or several flush(es)
Out of the Closet Pooper - A colleague who defecates at the office unashamedly; usually seen going to the bathroom with a newspaper in hand.
Prairie Dogging - (see Turtle Action)
SBP - (DMU), Defecation, menstruation and urination in unison.
Sharting - When someone defecates as the result of overpressures created by attempting to flatulate.
Snarting - When someone farts as the result of sneezing-induced overpressures.
The Holy Shart - When someone defecates in his/her pants with a fart that came as the result of sneezing. Better if someone says "bless you" with the sneeze.
Turd Burglar - A person who tries to open the door of your stall while you are defecating.
Turtle Action - (see Turtle Time), occurs when the tip, or head of the feces peeks out the anus and/or the sensation of.
Vurping - When someone vomits when they eructate.

Constipation

- Backed up
- Blocked up
- Bunged up
- Full of bricks
- Plugged up

Miscellaneous bodily odours and medical ailments

Many of these have their own sets of slang and humorous terms and euphemisms or dysphemisms (which should be developed as part of this article).

Diarrhea
- Acid bombs
- AK-47 action
- Arseplosion
- Backdoor Trots
- Brown Rain
- Bubbleguts
- Carpet bomb
- Chocolate laser
- Hot Snakes
- Montezuma's revenge
- No. 3
- P.H.I.D.S. (Poop Hole In Distress Syndrome)
- Scatter bomb
- Spray-painting
- Spray poops
- The Shits
- Spitting Mud
- The Squirts
- The trotts, or the green-apple trots
- The Skitters
- Turista
- Ring stinger
- Shitting through the eye of a needle
- Arse blast

Halitosis - chronic bad breath
- Death breath
- Barf breath
- Dragons breath
- Dementor (from Harry Potter)
- Farthead
- Ass/Butt Breath
- Tampon breath

Hemorrhoids
- Arse lips
- Arse petals
- Arse flower
- Arseteriods
- Farmers (Farmer Giles = Piles)
- Hemmies
- 'Roids
- Little stinky balloons (from Family Guy)
- Bum Grapes
- Falling into the Ring of Fire (from Johnny Cash)

Ambiguous

The following are used as intentionally ambiguous terms for a visit to a bathroom/toilet to urinate, defecate, or both:

Answering nature's call
*Camo-Cough - a fake cough used to distract attention from potentially embarassing in-stall noises
*Courtesy flush - flushing the moment the feces hits water to minimize odors, reduce risk of taking the 'walk of shame'(see Walk of Shame)
*Decorating the toilet seat (putting paper on the seat)
Finding safe haven
Finishing up some paper-work (wiping)
Freshening up
Getting an appointment with Dr. John
Going to London
Going to Pakistan
Going to hit the head (Naval Term)
Going to let loose in the loo
Going to see a man about a horse
Going to sit on the bowl
Going to sit on the throne
Going to the bathroom (US)
Going to the can
Going to the Chamber Of Secrets (seeing that it was located in a bathroom)
Going to the dunny
Going to the "happy room" (Thailand)
Going to the little boys'/girls' room (mostly in American English)
Going to the "little inventor's room"
Going to the loo (UK)
Going to see a man about a dog (UK)
Going to the "office" (or "cubicle")
Going to the privy
Going to the Royal office
Going where even the emperor must go on foot
Going where even the king goes alone
Having a healthy
Hit the can
In the jacks
Making breakfast on the back of the porcelain horse
Painting the porcelain
Paying a visit
Perfume the loo
Powdering one's nose
Reclaiming the throne
Reigning on a porcelain throne
Seeing Mrs. Murphy
Spend a penny
Spray-painting the porcelain
Taking a biological break
Taking a constitutional
Testing the plumbing (As in "I'm going to go test the plumbing")
* The Walk of Shame - The steps taken from stall, to sink, to door after one has stunk up the (usually workplace) bathroom, (can sometimes be prevented with the courtesy flush)
Turtle time!
Turtle is poking his head out
Using the can
Using the facilities
Using the john
Using the plumbing
Visiting Kermit (from Cockney Rhyming Slang: Kermit the Frog = Bog)
Visiting Mr. Limbaugh
Visiting Mr. Stallman
Washing one's hands
Washing up