they/them

English

Etymology

From a common format for specifying gender-neutral pronouns in online profiles.

Noun

they/them (plural they/thems)

1. (Internet slang, sometimes offensive) A non-binary person; a person who uses non-binary pronouns.
   • 2023 September 10, Nova Smith, “Baldur's Gate 3 is the first game that met me halfway in roleplaying a they/them causing mayhem, and that feels like the future of RPGs”, in PC Gamer‎^[1]:

     I've long used videogames as a means to cope with both my disability and my dysphoria, but Baldur's Gate 3 is the first time I've been able to really get into roleplaying a they/them causing mayhem.

   • 2024 May 1, Emily Gould, quoting Mx. Vanilla, “‘Help! Our DEI Trainer Won’t Stop Talking About Kink’”, in The Cut‎^[2]:

     The individual straight cises whom I work with are pretty nice for the most part. Still, people (mostly my boomer coworkers) often misgender other people (mostly the younger they/thems) at my office and bristle when corrected.

   • 2024, Colby Gordon, quoting Folger Shakespeare Library, Glorious Bodies: Trans Theology and Renaissance Literature, University of Chicago Press, →ISBN, page 18:

     In case you were wondering, "Shakespeare's They/Thems" turned out to be Rosalind and Viola. The Folger talk summons these "cross-dressed female protagonists" as evidence that Shakespeare was "comfortable" with "non-binary" and "transgender identity"

Usage notes

• They/them is used as a self-descriptor by many non-binary people, but some consider it reductive and offensive.

Translations

a non-binary person (offensive)

• Portuguese: todes (pt)

Verb

they/them (third-person singular simple present they/thems, present participle they/themming, simple past and past participle they/themmed or they/them'd)

1. (transitive) To refer to (someone) using gender-neutral pronouns.
   • 2023 October 13, Brian Logan, “‘We’re all learning’: why Netflix needs Hannah Gadsby’s Gender Agenda”, in The Guardian‎^[3]:

     As per the old Jewish joke “ask two Jews, get three opinions”, there’s room on this seven-strong bill (plus [Hannah] Gadsby) for at least that many different perspectives on gender – including some impish scepticism from Canadian comic DeAnne Smith, who complains about “getting they/them’d against my will since 2005”.