User:Vuccala/Fun

-zilla augmentatives

Like it or not, -zilla is the English augmentative noun suffix. Hence all noun headers should really look like this:

mom (diminutive mommy, augmentative momzilla)
dog (diminutive doggie, augmentative dogzilla)
cat (diminutive kitty, augmentative catzilla)

WM fundraising idea: sponsored usage examples

Wiktionary could help raise money for Wikimedia by including paid sponsorships in its usage examples, like so:

crab cake (plural crab cakes)

A type of fishcake popular in the United States composed of crab meat and bread crumbs.
I got 50% off my first order of crab cakes from SeafoodShack.com by using coupon code "Wiktionary" at checkout.

Informal register definitions

Is the formal academic register really the best at explaining word meanings? What if we instead used the informal register? It's 200% friendlier and 300% easier to understand. Examples:

car key

That little metal thing you put inside the hole by your steering wheel (and then twist) to make the car start.

dictionary

One of those books that explains what different words mean. Though nowadays it can also be a website.

nose

That triangular thing above your mouth and between your eyes with two holes in the bottom of it that lets you breathe and smell things.

pizza

A tasty Italian food that's basically a flat circular crust with tomato sauce and cheese on top, and then other toppings on top of that. You bake it in an oven and eat it hot, but it also tastes good cold.

Helpful User_talk templates

For underage vandals:

This template skilfully uses the latest youth slang and emojis to effectively onboard troubled youths into becoming productive Wiktionary editors.

😮 Brah! Vandalizing Wiktionary is no cap 🚫🧢 not cool! 😐
💀 It's totes epic cringe, bro! 🤮🤮🤮

🤨 Real talk tho, you know what's totally based 🔥🔥🔥 and poggers? 😲
Being a legit madlad and editing for real! 🫡

So peep 👀 our Wiktionary welcome for the deets. 🚀
Then be a gigachad 💪 and yeet on over to our Discord server! 🤩

For intoxicated editors:

Whoa there, have you had anything to drink tonight?
Yes, we can tell. Signs of intoxicated Wiktionary editing include:

Profanity-laden edit summaries and talk page comments out of character from ones usual self
Editing at unusually late hours, especially on weekends
Sudden interest in editing entries related to bodily functions, sex, and/or profanity
Requiring 14 edits to fix ones own typos

While there's no rule prohibiting editing under the influence, online lexicography can't possibly be the best way to enjoy being sloshed, can it?

Surely you'd rather down brewskies with friends at a party instead of alone at home in front of your computer screen, right? Right??

For the perpetually banned:

Oft-banned Wiktionarians may wish to take inspration from the highly esteemed and successful sovereign citizen movement. According to the internet's finest pseudolegal scholars, placing the following notice on your userpage will totally protect your account from bans and edit reversions:

Attention Administrators:

This user is a freeman on the 'net and does not recognize the authority of the administrators of Wiktionary. This user is not bound by Wiktionary rules as this user is a Sovereign Wiktionarian, and as such is bound only by common law.This user shall not be banned, nor shall they have their edits reverted.

PIE, or maybe PTB

Akin to how users can switch date labels between BC/AD or BCE/CE depending on if that user is Christian or hellbound, Wiktionary should respect the Young Earth Creationist perspective and offer a gadget to switch between whether our reconstructed ancestor language is called "Proto-Indo-European" or "pre-Tower-of-Babel-onian".

Nationality photos

For pages of the names of nationalities, the chosen photo should represent the nationality in question in its most salient cultural imagery. Here are examples of the kinds of photos we should use:

Not just humans

There is an obvious supercategory missing from Wiktionary: Category:Human language. And we could have even broader supercategories like Category:Mammalian language, and Category:Animal communication. Such categories would be useful in allowing us to expand into listing broader ways of communication like Category:Avian mating calls, Category:Arthropod pheromone signals, and Category:Extraterrestrial lemmas once we make contact.

Linguistic evidence for continental drift

By the dispassionate forces of geology, those many generations ago South America and Africa cleaved asunder; their flora and fauna forever divided between the two continents. To this day, on opposite sides of the sea – in Angola and Brazil – one finds speakers of Portuguese.

Folk Etymologies

My degree in pseudolinguistics from Prager University gives me a unique edge over mainstream linguists (who are mere pawns of Big Lexicography). By doing my own research, I have managed to find the true etymologies of words such as:

Paraguay and Uruguay: When both these regions gained their independance from Spain, both wanted to name themselves Guay, which is Spanish for "cool". But since both couldn't be named the same thing, one chose to be called Uruguay from Uru + guay ("uru" means "chief" in Guaraní), and the other chose Paraguay from Para- + guay (para- means "beyond"). So these countries' names literally mean "Chiefly cool" and "Beyond cool".
dog: In medieval times, hounds were used for hunting, but then a new type of hound was bred used mainly for protecting ones home. The creator of this new breed also coined a name for it: the "D.O.G.", which is an acronym for: "Domestic Outdoor Guardian".
Fahrenheit: In medieval times, when people heated their homes with a hearth, they measured how warm it was by how high the flames were. If a room was hot, the fire's flames were said to be "Fair in height". Eventually when thermometers were invented, these were the degrees they measured in with 100℉ set to equal the temperature of a very hot room. The spelling became corrupted to Fahrenheit by German thermometer makers who thought it was a single word.
welcome: In medieval times, a landowner was permitted to kill anyone who entered his house without permission. Thus the necessary etiquette to avoid such an accident was for the visitor to announce "I wish to come in!" and the landowner would reply "Well, come in!". Eventually this became shortened to just "Welcome!"
robot: In medieval times, the most repetitive job one could have was as a rower. Since sailing from Europe to the Spice Islands took many months of rowing, all day long, any drugerous repetitive job became known as a "rowboat" job. During the Great Vowel Shift, "rowboat" shifted to sound like "robot" and that's where we got the word from.

This is just a sample of the quality of work that will be available in my new original publication, A New English Dictionary on Pseudohistorical Principles.

English nouns derived from Ancient Greek eponyms:

Articlēs - Laconic journalist
Barnaclēs - fisherman in Homer's Odyssey
Canticlēs - god of hymns
Chroniclēs - inventor of the hourglass
Cuticlēs - queen of Sparta's manicurist
Debaclēs - goddess of disasters
Folliclēs - inventor of the combover
Iciclēs - keeper of Athenian icehouses
Manaclēs - Corinthian jailer
Miraclēs - an oracle at Delphi
Obstaclēs - inventor of the phalanx
Receptaclēs - inventor of sanitation
Tabernaclēs - head rabbi of Thebes
Testiclēs - god of copulation
Trēaclēs - chef of the king of Athens
Spectaclēs - Athenian lens maker
Vehiclēs - Spartan charioteer

IPA: International Parrot Alphabet

Since parrots also speak, and this speech is attested in YouTube videos, we'll have to add IPA phonetic transcriptions of parrot speech to the Pronunciation section of many words. The question worth asking is whether we need a new set of IPA symbols altogether, since parrots have no lips nor teeth yet can still make bilabial plosives and dental fricatives. I have petitioned the International Phonetic Association for an Psittacine Extension to the IPA, but they are yet to email me a reply. Until they do, let us go forward as so:

(Psittacine) IPA^(key): [ˌpɹɪti.ˈbɝːːːɖ]

Mirror-reflected forms

A proposition to bring up in Wiktionary:Beer parlour and Wiktionary:Grease pit

Since every word can be reflected off a surface such as a mirror, I think it'd be a good idea for Wiktionary to cover those forms as well. You'll find they're all attested simply by viewing their original attestation in a mirror.

The new type of definition I'm proposing would look like this:

Noun

ƨɔilduq

Mirrored form of publics.

We'll have to duplicate all Wiktionary entries with their new mirrored forms, but a lack of mirrored character glyphs in Unicode presents a problem. We can start simple by defining all words that only use bd,cɔ,i,l,o,pq,sƨ,u,v,w,x. The rest will have to be added like this: Unsupported_titles/mirrored/`facetious`) where we'll be able to use CSS to rotate them in the headword: facetious.

It seems only fair that we'll also have to add additional entries for words' vertically-reflected forms like so:

Noun

ƨcoob

Vertically-reflected form of scoop.

As well as horizontally- AND vertically- reflected forms:

Noun

dooɔs

Vertically and mirrored form of scoop.

Lastly, in the interest of neutrality, all existing entries will need get templated as Template:unmirrored form of, unless they're already horizontally and vertically symmetrical, like oxo. Since all these additions can be done by bots, Wiktionary will be able to quadruple its size within days and finally make it to the top of Wikipedia:List of dictionaries by number of words.

Batteries: to-do

Since Wiktionary defines the names of the common batteries AA and AAA it would be a wise use of our time to continue this pattern by creating an entry for the names of all the other types of batteries too. The list for which can be found here: Wikipedia:List of battery sizes. Thanks to service manuals, attestability is guaranteed. Let's start: CR2025, LR44, CR-V3, A23, PP3, A27, CR2016, (continue...)

And after we're done that we can add...