shake hands with the unemployed

English

Etymology

An oblique reference to the usual 'employment' of the penis in sex, masturbation, or urination. In reference to masturbation, sometimes credited to American comedian George Carlin.

Pronunciation

Audio (General Australian): (file)

Verb

shake hands with the unemployed (third-person singular simple present shakes hands with the unemployed, present participle shaking hands with the unemployed, simple past shook hands with the unemployed, past participle shaken hands with the unemployed)

(euphemistic slang, of men) To urinate.
- 1975, E. E. LeMasters, Blue-collar Aristocrats: Life-styles at a Working-class Tavern, University of Wisconsin Press, pages 103-104:
  An older man made this remark when he left the bar to urinate: "Well, I'll go back and shake hands with the unemployed." Since he was heading for the men's room I didn't get the significance of this statement for a minute or so; it was, of course, a reference to sexual inactivity.
(euphemistic slang, of men) To masturbate.
- 1993, Seattle Sal, Grunge Jokes, S.P. Books, page 43:
  Why did the preppie boy make a great social worker? He had a lot of practice shaking hands with the unemployed.

Synonyms

(urination): See Thesaurus:urinate
(masturbation): See Thesaurus:masturbate

References

Geoff Tibals, The Mammoth Book of Comic Quotes, Constables and Robinson, 2012, p. 385.